It is January 15, 2008. We are only halfway through the first month of the year and already I have reached my breaking point. Yes, I have had it with all the media bombardments stating “start off the new year by becoming a healthier (or prettier) you.” It is impossible to switch on the TV or open a magazine, newspaper or even junk mail without some reference to all the things I should be doing to improve my beauty, health or fitness.
I do not need any more reminders that I look like the Buddha in the pagoda at the Chinese Gardens restaurant. I do not need reminding that my knees only go down while stairs also go up. If one more person tells me that my skin will be less wrinkled if I slather it with sheep entrails or that my nails will grow stronger if I coat them with snake venom I think I will just have to go bang my head against the wall in frustration.
I also fear for the safety of the next person that asks me if I have made or already broken my New Year’s Resolutions. Whose business is it anyway? I do not think I should have to admit that I must make a resolution to stop chewing the inside of my cheek or clean the gunk out of the bathtub more often. Just because I am trying to give up soda does not mean that the choice had to be connected with some old New Year’s superstition.
If I have to walk down one more shopping aisle full of plastic totes shouting at me “its time to get organized”; or worst yet, one that is yelling Easter is just around the corner I think I will surely lose it.
Well, now that I have gotten that off my chest, lets go shopping I need a new swimsuit.
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