Sunday Favorites #40 --- If you Forget

Sunday Favorites is a meme hosted by Chari at Happy to Design. Chari asks us to drag one of our older posts out of mothballs and repost it. After all, only so many posts can be on the first page and once they move down the stack they are seldom ever looked at again.

You can check out this Sunday meme by visiting Happy to Design. Heck, you might find some great stuff and be inspired to join the fun and repost some of your favorites that have been long forgotten.

My repost for this week was originally posted in September 23, 2005.

If You Forget

The subject of the worst gift you ever received from a husband or boyfriend came up today on a message board I frequent and I was reminded of this story and decided to share it here.

My sister and I share the same birthday, July 7th. My first husband and I were married on Aug 5th. My first birthday after the wedding was my 21st. Naturally, I expected either a house party or a bar hopping party (like all my friends had) to celebrate the big 21. Despite large notes on all the calendars and discussions about sending my sister a birthday gift, my birthday came and went without a word from my husband. My best girlfriend kept calling every half hour to see what he gave me and at 10pm when the answer was still "not a word" she came and took me out for the prerequisite first drink. I was too hurt to say anything at the time, so I just sulked for a week, and even that seemed to go by unnoticed.

The next month our first anniversary came and went the same way. Not a word. No card, gift or anything. So I was fuming. I called my Aunt for advice and she said that you have to "never allow a precedence to get started because then you have no grounds on which to object. If you allow something to be repeated without taking issue then you have no grounds on which to complain about being unhappy the next time it is repeated". She said to nip it in the bud and let him know what was expected.

When I discussed it with my sister-in-law. I learned that Christmas was the only day celebrated in their parent's house and therefore birthdays, anniversaries and other holidays were just not considered important to my husband and he had no way of knowing or understanding that I grew up in a family where everything was celebrated to the hilt.

I had always wanted matching wedding bands and he had given me a very gaudy set of wedding rings I hated. So I went to the jewelers and ordered a ring to match his and that night I set him down and gave him the bill and explained that the ring was going to be my combined birthday/ anniversary gift and that I expected him to remember both dates in the future and I would settle for a romantic card, but, if he forgot then I was going to buy the most expensive thing I could find and send him the bill.

The next year my birthday was again ignored so I went out an bought a sofa and sent dear hubby the bill. A month later our anniversary was also ignored so I purchased matching chairs and end tables for the living room and sent him the bill. When he hit the roof I quietly stated "If you remember these dates it will only cost you a twenty-five cent card (price in 1968). If you forget them then it is going to cost you the most expensive thing I can find to buy.


Well it took him 5 years, and many expensive items we could not afford, to realize I was dead serious. When I awoke on the morning of my birthday the sixth year there was a card hanging from the ceiling by a string only inches from my face. For the next 32 years, until the day he died, I never received a birthday or anniversary gift but there was always a mushy, romantic, and often ridiculously expensive card within arms reach when I awoke. Once when I was pregnant and had to sleep on my back I found the card actually standing on my stomach when I woke up.

He defiantly took me at my word.