Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunday Favorites #40 --- If you Forget

Sunday Favorites is a meme hosted by Chari at Happy to Design. Chari asks us to drag one of our older posts out of mothballs and repost it. After all, only so many posts can be on the first page and once they move down the stack they are seldom ever looked at again.

You can check out this Sunday meme by visiting
Happy to Design. Heck, you might find some great stuff and be inspired to join the fun and repost some of your favorites that have been long forgotten.

My repost for this week was originally posted in September 23, 2005.

If You Forget

The subject of the worst gift you ever received from a husband or boyfriend came up today on a message board I frequent and I was reminded of this story and decided to share it here.

My sister and I share the same birthday, July 7th. My first husband and I were married on Aug 5th. My first birthday after the wedding was my 21st. Naturally, I expected either a house party or a bar hopping party (like all my friends had) to celebrate the big 21. Despite large notes on all the calendars and discussions about sending my sister a birthday gift, my birthday came and went without a word from my husband. My best girlfriend kept calling every half hour to see what he gave me and at 10pm when the answer was still "not a word" she came and took me out for the prerequisite first drink. I was too hurt to say anything at the time, so I just sulked for a week, and even that seemed to go by unnoticed.

The next month our first anniversary came and went the same way. Not a word. No card, gift or anything. So I was fuming. I called my Aunt for advice and she said that you have to "never allow a precedence to get started because then you have no grounds on which to object. If you allow something to be repeated without taking issue then you have no grounds on which to complain about being unhappy the next time it is repeated". She said to nip it in the bud and let him know what was expected.

When I discussed it with my sister-in-law. I learned that Christmas was the only day celebrated in their parent's house and therefore birthdays, anniversaries and other holidays were just not considered important to my husband and he had no way of knowing or understanding that I grew up in a family where everything was celebrated to the hilt.

I had always wanted matching wedding bands and he had given me a very gaudy set of wedding rings I hated. So I went to the jewelers and ordered a ring to match his and that night I set him down and gave him the bill and explained that the ring was going to be my combined birthday/ anniversary gift and that I expected him to remember both dates in the future and I would settle for a romantic card, but, if he forgot then I was going to buy the most expensive thing I could find and send him the bill.

The next year my birthday was again ignored so I went out an bought a sofa and sent dear hubby the bill. A month later our anniversary was also ignored so I purchased matching chairs and end tables for the living room and sent him the bill. When he hit the roof I quietly stated "If you remember these dates it will only cost you a twenty-five cent card (price in 1968). If you forget them then it is going to cost you the most expensive thing I can find to buy.

Well it took him 5 years, and many expensive items we could not afford, to realize I was dead serious. When I awoke on the morning of my birthday the sixth year there was a card hanging from the ceiling by a string only inches from my face. For the next 32 years, until the day he died, I never received a birthday or anniversary gift but there was always a mushy, romantic, and often ridiculously expensive card within arms reach when I awoke. Once when I was pregnant and had to sleep on my back I found the card actually standing on my stomach when I woke up.

He defiantly took me at my word.


  1. I must say Rita, I've never encountered anything quite like this( or even remotely ). I can't even comprehend not acknowledging a birthday or anniversary. Most I do know are smitten with a card or even just offering up a kind remark. As long as you remembered them...

    These days I can't e'en keep track but for the most important ones ;)

  2. You rock, lady! I didn't understand it when I married--and it took a divorce from and remarriage to my darling hub to get it through both our thick heads--but now I tell anyone who's willing to listen: Start as you mean to go. (Which is pretty much what your wise aunt told you.) But I love your way of handling it! Such a cool move.


  3. "Maxine's" not the only one with sweet chutzpah, Rita! Like TexNan says, "You rock!"

    Thanks for another excellent piece of your heart!


  4. GREAT cartoon.

    I've never mentioned it before, but I also LOVE your Cashjocky and Old Salt caricatures in your header!!

  5. Brilliant. Not only the advice not to allow this to go on but the way in which you got it through to him.
    My friend is turning 60 and has made it perfectly clear to her less than cooperative husband that she wants a trip away. Doesn't have to be big but he has to plan it and go along. We are all waiting to see what happens.

  6. Hi Rita...

    Ohh my goodness, Girl...I just cracked up reading this post! Your aunt was a wise woman and I just loved how you took care of the situation by going out and purchasing your own gift...and an expensive gift at that! hehe! Too funny!!! But all in all...your story had a very sweet and happy ending...I love mushy cards!!! Isn't it funny how some families don't celebrate these momentous occasions? One of my son-in-law's family is like that. I think it's so sad really! My daughter, like you, let her husband know from the very beginning that she expected for both of the birthdays and anniversary to be remembered and celebrated! Now my son-in-law is great about these things, in fact...he is always bringing her flowers, etc. "just because"! I think it's so sweet! My husband is very good about always remembering...he's a sweetheart!!! Well my friend...thank you so much for sharing this post with us today for Sunday Favorites! It was very entertaining...loved your story!!!

    Have a super Sunday, Sweetie!
    Chari @Happy To Design

  7. Thanks for commenting at my blog, Rita. I find it thrilling to know someone took the time to read one of my little thoughts. (All my thoughts are little, doncha know, but not all are read!)


  8. Way to go, Girl! I always go around saying things like, "Only 17 more shopping days till my birthday!" There's no chance my birthday will get forgotten!


Thank you for stopping by my site. Without your visits there would be no incentive to continue posting. So, having you here and reading your comments is the highlight of my day.

I regret that time does not always allow me to return visits to everyone who stops by, but, I will certainly do my best to get to everyone. I will definitely answer any questions you leave me.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great day.